Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Why I Want to Be a Doctor

Today, I was talking to my lab partner, who is also pre-med. We were working on a particularly difficult set of problems together when she said that she just wanted to quit and turn in the paper as it was. "He's going to drop our lowest lab grade anyway," she said.

"I don't know. I feel like I have to do my best, other wise I don't feel like I did a good job, even if I pass the assignment- or the whole class in the long run. I just won't feel like I did my best, and isn't that what med schools want to see? Students who did their best?" I said.

"You know what they call medical school graduates who graduated with all C's?" She asked.

"No, what?"



People like this that bother me. As a current patient and future doctor, I do not like to see people who don't take the "doctor status" as seriously as they should. Most doctors spend about ten years in college and spend upwards of $300,000 in college. It's not something you can just decide you want to be one morning. Becoming a doctor means lots of planning ahead, studying, and sacrificing social activities for text books. This girl is not going to be a very good doctor if she keeps thinking this way. Now, I could be totally wrong and she could end up becoming the next Nobel Prize winner, for all I know. But this is how I see people who are a part of one of the more rigorous degree plans available as an undergrad: You are either going to succeed, or you're not. It's sad to say, but most pre-med students will not get into med school. For those who do get into med school, only a few will get the internships they desire, and some won't even finish, as some may change their mind about becoming a doctor, or others will be kicked out for bad grades.

Doctors have to be trusted by their patients, so why should anybody trust you if you got all C's in medical school? Why should anybody trust you with their body and their health if you used Yahoo! Answers to cheat on your lab reports? If you don't learn about the human body yourself, you're not going to have that information when you're treating patients.

As a patient with many rare and painful diseases, I know what makes a good doctor and a bad doctor, and trust me, I've had PLENTY of bad doctors. I've had doctors accuse me of lying about being in pain just to get drugs, I've had doctors tell me it's all in my head and there's nothing they can do to help me... the list goes on. I know how hard and how painful it is to go from doctor to doctor just to be told you can't be helped because the doctor doesn't know how to help you. I want to change that. I want to become a doctor so I can help people and I won't be able to help people if I don't take my studies seriously. I want to change that stigma that doctors don't care, because I do care. If someone tells me they think something is wrong with their body, who am I to say that they don't know what they're talking about? YOU know your body the best, and if my future patients believe something is wrong, I'll do everything in my power to find out what is wrong and help them feel better. Isn't that a doctor's job anyway?

For someone to sit there and tell me that they only want to become a doctor for the paycheck, and then tell me I'm weird because I actually give a crap about my grades only makes me feel stronger about my desire to become a doctor. I will not give up on my dreams because some ignorant person thinks they know everything, when they clearly don't.


I apologize for ranting here. I know most of you are here to read about my experiences with Endometriosis and Intestinal Epilepsy, but it's my blog and I can rant if I want to. :)

Next week, I will be answering all your questions. If you have a question about me, my disorders, or anything else, please comment them below! Thank you everyone for reading, commenting, and supporting my blog! Your support means a lot to me and I'm so thankful to have you guys in my life. :)

<3 Mouse

Monday, May 20, 2013

My Hiatus and Other Fun Stories!

It's been a while. Sorry, about that. Everything has been so hectic since I last posted. First, I had a very intrusive surgery about a week after I last updated my blog. It took about two weeks for me to recover. I had a Laproscopy performed by Dr. Mangal in Houston. We knew about this procedure for about a month before it actually occurred, but I neglected to mention it on here because a few things were going on (which I will not speak of here since they're not very interesting), so we weren't actually sure if the surgery was actually going to happen in the first place. I didn't want to go "Hey everyone! I'm having this amazing surgery! It's gonna be so awesome!" and then end up not having it. Thankfully, everything went smoothly and I was able to have my surgery. The Laproscopy went well and Dr. Mangal did a great job at ridding my abdominal cavity of scar tissue and endometrial gunk. Since I have recovered from the surgery, I have been feeling MUCH better! I still experience some pain, but it's more subdued and "softer" than before. Dr. Mangal now has me on a birth control regimen to keep the Endometriosis at bay and I don't have to see him again unless I want to have babies (which I don't plan on having ever because babies are gross and they pee on you). 

After my surgery, Dr. Mathias upped my seizure medications and now I'm trying to incorporate more foods into my diet. I'm using that 'ole "Trial and Error" mumbo jumbo to see what foods make me hurt, and what foods don't. I've noticed that corn products (as long as it's not deep fried) can be safely consumed without too much regret later. That's pretty neato, I suppose. My diet is much more rounded now and I've been trying to customize my diet so it's convenient for school and still delicious. If anybody wants some of the Tyramine-free recipes I've been trying, feel free to message me and I'll send a few your way! 
In other news, I started taking classes at a local community college this past Spring semester, which took up a bunch of my time. Thankfully, all that hard work paid off: I now have a 4.0! I'm not in as much pain anymore, so now I can do all my homework uninterrupted by tummy spasms and endometrial carnage. I'm officially off medical leave and I return to Clark University this Fall as a full-time student with a part-time job on campus! When I return, I will be a Junior, just as I should be. I am so excited to see all my friends again and roll around in the snow. I'm excited to take a class about my man, Sigmund Freud, and I'm excited to watch my GPA grow, since I'm determined to kick some major ass this year! At the end of this year, I will be taking the MCAT (Medical School entrance exam), and I'll be graduating on time! My dream of becoming a doctor will not be on hold for much longer! I'm so psyched!

Everything is finally falling into place. 

But those aren't the only reasons I took my hiatus.

To be completely honest with you, I was getting sick of writing blogs that nobody would read. I was sick of having random strangers know everything about me (or so they thought). It stressed me out knowing that people from all over are reading my words and my story. I was thinking that some day, if I'm not careful, these "random strangers" could stalk me, or something weird. You never know, the internet is full of creeps!

I had a revelation a couple of weeks ago when one of my readers emailed me and told me that my blog- my words, my story- described their situation perfectly and made them feel "not so alone" anymore. That right there, Ladies and Gentlemen is why I began this blog in the first place. I wanted to tell my story so others could see my life, struggles, and accomplishments through my eyes. I wanted my story to have an impact on someone, even if it was only one person. 

Thank you all so very much for all your kind words and support. I'm so flattered by every comment you write, and every email you send. It's those little things that have been getting me through the day, knowing that somewhere across the vast internet, there is someone who understands me. So, to everyone who has, is, and will read this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are all so precious to me and I feel honored to be the Broken Girl. :) 

And Now For Something Completely Different!

I'm going to be an Aunt: My brother is expecting a baby due December, 9th, 2013, just two days before my birthday! How exciting! I've started sending my niece/nephew some books to get them started down the path of Geekdom. I will not have my niece/nephew be illiterate and ill-read. I'm very excited for this new addition to the family. I'm going to spoil this kid so much, so I'm just apologizing to Alex now so she won't hate me when I buy the kid a car for his/her 5th birthday, or whatever. I'm bound to do something stupid like that, sooner or later. We don't know the sex yet, but I think it's going to be a boy. My brother is too manly to make a daughter. Although, if it does happen to be a girl, I'm pretty excited to watch as she quickly wraps him around her little finger. BRING OUT THE POPCORN, GUYS! THIS IS GONNA GET GOOD! 

As I wrap up this post, I will make a loose promise to write at least once a week, or as things progress. I am taking some summer classes beginning the second week of June, so I'll be a bit busy again, but I'll try to make some time for you. I love you all and thank you for sticking with me while I get my life back in place. I'm going to leave you with a picture of me punching Justin Beiber. This really happened. I really am that buff. Photoshop did not play any part in the making of this photo. And, if you notice, he's all bloody and I'm clean-- that's because he fights like a girl. ;) 

<3 Mouse