Thursday, November 22, 2012

They took away my true love!

I have crossed out everything I can't eat. 
Remember how, a few posts ago, I wrote about how delicious Beaver Nuggets were? Well, now I can't eat them. I had to drive back to Houston to visit Dr. Mathias, a neuro-gastroenterologist who specializes in Endometriosis. Dr. Mangal referred me to him because he believed there were serious spasms occurring in my gut. This sounded weird to me, and I'm sure it sounds weird to you, too... but I'll explain it in a minute.

Dr. Mathias is the fourth best specialist in the entire country and he is also the only doctor in the world who conducts electrograstrograms. In case you're not up-to-date with your unusual medical practices, an electrogastrogram measures the electrical activity going on inside your abdomen. First, he listened to my tummy with a stethoscope. His eyes opened wide, as if in shock, then handed me the ear-piece for the stethoscope. I listened to my own belly. He said, "Do you hear that sound? It almost sounds like Rice Krispies". I nodded and asked him what that was. He replied, "That's the cause of your pain."

He then led me to a small room. In the middle of the room was a comfy-looking recliner. Towards the back of the room was a series of scary, sci-fi-inspired machines- each making their own beeping noise with corresponding LED lights, blinking in special patterns to show that they were all on and working correctly. The nurse sat me down in the chair, stuck four sticky pads to my abdomen, then covered me in a blanket so I wouldn't be cold. She told me not to move at all for fifteen minutes, as any slight flinch would effect the test and we'd have to start all over again. I took this as a cue to take a nap.

Oh hell no.
After the fifteen minutes were up, the nurse came in, let me stretch a bit, then gave me a glass of water to drink. She then covered me up again, and ran the test again, but this time it was for fifty minutes. No moving. No nothing. (So of course, I took another nap!)

Soon after the test was over, they led me back to the exam room. Dr. Mathias returned with a small stack of papers. The first two papers were my test results. The compared my electrogastrogram with that of a healthy person. Mine were more sporadic and random than the control. He told me that this meant I was having seizures in my bowel. Yes. Seizures. In my tummy.

Only me, I swear.

He told me the tremors were causing my intestines to bump into each other, bruise each other, and thus cause a great portion of my pain. He said it was treatable with certain medications and a well-controlled diet. Of course, he said this wasn't the only problem my test results showed.

He said I'm also diabetic. Not type 1 (the kind you're born with)... type 2 (the kind that fat people get for eating too many powdered donuts). I am 5'1", and 98 pounds, eat very healthy, and I am a type 2 diabetic. What. The. Hell.

So now, I have to be on the most obnoxious diet ever.
No red meat. No soda. No aged cheese. No chocolate. No bacon. No candy. No corn. No soy (which we knew already). No pizza. No ham. No potatoes (except for the red variety). No white bread. No muffins. No bagels. No carrots. No NOTHING.

The list goes on. I also have very special rules for the things I can eat. I can't eat fruit without a protein. I have to have 1 tablespoon of olive oil with EACH MEAL (even breakfast). Each meal must follow a pattern the nurse gave me (30% carbs, 30% Omega 3 fatty acids, 40% protein).

This sucks. As I was examining the list, I realized that everything I love to eat is on my restricted list. Only boring things are on my "okay to eat" list. :(

I  am not looking forward to this. FML.

So let's explain what's going on inside of me. First, there is a primitive "brain" lining your intestines. It works independently of the brain in your head. This "brain" helps control the sphincters in your bowel, helps absorb nutrients, and dispose of waste. The say this "brain" made way for the evolution of the brain we have in our heads now. In fact, if you dissect a worm, you will see this exact same "tummy brain" lining their entire body. This is because worms don't have a "real" brain. They just have this primitive brain that allows them to absorb nutrients and keep the body alive. My tummy brain is a little silly. It has seizures. It's called Intestinal Epilepsy. This is incredibly rare. In 2005, only 36 cases were confirmed. Yay?

This is not the only cause of my pain, but it's definitely a factor. I'm glad they could find what was wrong with me so now we can treat it. Once they treat the seizures, I can go into surgery and Dr. Mangal can remove all the Endometriosis. If he were to open me up now, the tremors would get in the way and he couldn't be as through.

Still, though, I'm going to miss eating food that actually tastes good.

<3 Mouse

5 comments:

  1. All those blinking lights remind me of sick bay in Star Trek!

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  2. thorough*

    Mouse, I am so glad they figured it out <3

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  3. Hello

    I understand you are busy so I shall keep this brief. My wife has been suffering from endo for 15 years now. By reading your blog, It was like telling my wife's journey with this horrible disease as well. We just got back from Dr. Mathias office in houston about 1 week ago, and he put her on the endo diet u mentioned, also, he put her on clonezepam (seizure medication) which I'm terrified she will get dependent on, peri-actin drops which she takes only at night but only 1/2 the dosage because it gets her very drowsy and sleepy, non-metal reactive pharmaceutical grade fish oil, 2 tablespoons of olive oil and her daily dosage of minerals by new vision for the reduction of her bowel spasms. Are these the medications/minerals your taking? How
    Have you been fairing with them if so? How are your pain levels? Dr. Mathias wants my wife on this endo diet for 8weeks under all these medications, but I'm already seeing her spirit deteriorate and it makes me hurt to see her going through this. After the 8 week treatment, dr. Mathias will send her back to Dr. Mangal for his invasive laparoscopic procedure, much different than the lap procedures here in San Antonio Texas where we reside. Apparently, Dr. Mangals procedure will keep my wife pain free for up to 3-5 years before it grows back. I'm still hesitant because I've seen it grow back so quickly. I really do hope to hear from you as it is always comforting to know the support for women with endo is out there. Although there is no cure, you, among my wife and others continue to fight and I admire your strength. We have talked about children but financially, we are not ready, then again, where are we ever financially ready in this economy?

    Sincerely,
    Yesenia and Alex Macias

    Hope to hear from u soon.

    My email is Funnies16@yahoo.com

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    Replies
    1. Hello,

      Sorry for the lack of a reply! I still wasn't sure how to use Google+ or blogspot!

      As of Dr. Mathias's diet, I'm afraid none of it helped. His "minerals" I've found did nothing for the human body. In fact, the only thing they ever did for me ws empty my wallet and fill his. I looked up the minerals and vitamins he peddled from his office and I found no other places where you could buy them. I will be talking about this in more detail shortly.

      As for the diet, I experimented with it and found that some things made me hurt and other things didn't. Your wife's body may be different than mine, so I don't know what will work for her, but I have been staying away from anything with caffeine and soy and that's worked pretty well. Other things I only eat in moderation.

      I hope this helped! I'd be happy to talk with you again and see how yoou guys are doing!
      <3 Mouse

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  4. There is a cauliflower crust you can eat when it comes to pizza. :)

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